


gravity's tricks on moons in orbit

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-05
Updated: 2009-01-05
Packaged: 2019-01-19 18:30:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12415590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: like moons in orbit, gravity may bring two objects close only to pull them apart once more. a dimmer star and a delicate flower might come together, if only for a while.





	gravity's tricks on moons in orbit

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

This story's been written over and over for centuries, and the ending is always the same – a betrothal, a commitment, an heir, and the ever-present task of holding up the family name, of bringing honor and respect to the Noble and Most Ancient House. Completely predictable, one might say that nothing of interest lies between the pages.

But while the ending's been decided, and the beginning's unremarkable, there is always something different between. Like moons in orbit, gravity may bring two objects close only to pull them apart once more. A dimmer star and a delicate flower might come together, if only for a while – and in the middle of the story, they're still writing it.

*

_1970_

Narcissa is a golden child – smiling, demure, quiet, polite, charming. She excels with her tutoring in Greek and Latin, her clear voice is like the song of a bird, her manners and expressions perfectly suit a young rising debutante.

When she was younger, the rare tantrum or demand would escape her lips, and immediately her mother or tutor or nanny would scold her. Shining examples don't throw fits or greedily insist on favors. Narcissa learned quickly how to act in order to be the desirable one. Before long, it was like nothing to deny herself completely.

She outshines her older sisters. Bellatrix is headstrong and wild, consistently scolded and punished by their mother and father. Andromeda is plain and average, causing their parents much disappointment. It is much joy for Cygnus and Druella to see the elegant flower that is their youngest.

But in the early hours of evening, Narcissa looks out the window at the swirl of faded colours in the sky and wonders if being the cookie-cutter daughter is worth not being true to herself.

*

_1971_

Sirius betrays the family by no choice of his own –  _unfair,_ Regulus thinks, _to blame him for the contents of his soul_ – and through the following year, he watches the silent battle rage. 

In true fashion of a noble family, every skirmish is delicate and subtle, and he must be paying close attention to notice – a less-than-desirable gift at Christmas, a two-month wait before letters are replied to. 

Regulus has months and months to consider  _(agonize over)_  what he'll do come September, and what the hat will find in a place so deep he cannot understand. He is pulled in two directions, between the laughing older brother he so idolizes and the stern father and mother he so hates to displease.

(In the end, his choice pleases no-one, for when he gains the fiery anger – and later, indifference – of the Black family's token Gryffindor, he fades in the view of his parents, and so means naught to all.)

*

_1973_

The grand parties, so common in the socialite world of pureblood England, wear on Narcissa's temper. Hair elaborately pinned, robes carefully selected, a graceful smile ever on her face, and yet inside she scoffs at the proceedings, like a play which must be acted out by every upstanding witch and wizard. 

Bellatrix and Andromeda spin each other around, laughing together, ignoring everyone gathered in the room. Narcissa watches them, heart tearing itself apart, and she is seized with envy for her sisters, who do not worry themselves with appearances. 

A realization comes to her, with an impact like no other – it's this world she hates, and more, that they know a way to live in it that she cannot quite grasp.

Her eyes catch a figure across the room, leaning against the wall, crossed arms and dark expression. He looks up and catches her gaze, and smiles with half of his mouth. She follows his glance at her sisters, who have caught Sirius up with them, hands clasped together as the cousins dance in a circle.

Regulus motions to the stairs, and Narcissa doesn't think to question – she just follows the one person who might understand her lonely place in this world.

*

_1974_

Orion's study is always the perfect refuge from the hell they want to escape, and they creep in together soon after the beginning of every significant event, her slender fingers clutching the neck of a bottle of wine, his angular hands twirling a pair of glasses.

Here, crouched on a rug in the dark, before a small and crackling fire that casts their shadows like giants on the wall, Regulus feels more at home than any place he has ever seen. There is no competition or comparison, nothing to make him feel that he does not measure up – only him and Narcissa, who speaks to him as though he might have something of worth to offer.

Now her cheeks are flushed red with the wine, strands of her blonde hair fall around her face as they escape her upsweep, and her lips are parted as she laughs unchecked at something he's said – and he's warm, and faint, and a pressure starts on his chest, and he understands none of it.

She begins to speak –  _Merlin, Reg, are you well? You look_  – but somewhere between the feeling pressing at his body and his mind, and the use of his long-neglected pet name, and the way she looks at the moment (so bright, so real, so _alive_ , and her eyes trained on him like she thinks he matters), he leans sideways, using one arm to support all his weight as he gently presses his lips to those of his cousin.

He is acutely aware of every detail – how his arm, grown long and gangly in recent months, is jutting his shoulder up too high; how the laughing and tinkling of glasses downstairs has faded to a faraway drone; how good it feels to be  _touching_  her. Then he isn't aware of very much at all, because she's kissing him back, just barely brushing her lips across his but lighting him on fire all the same. 

She pulls back first, and he breathes slowly as she blinks, once, twice. Her eyelashes are so dark and her eyes are so bright and it must be the wine that's giving her that smile and slowly it begins to sink in that _he's just kissed his cousin,_  and for some reason she's still looking at him like she always does.

Regulus lets out a breath which, for his entire life, he never knew he was holding.

*

_1975_

Lucius Malfoy begins courting Narcissa when she is fifteen, and they are both still attending Hogwarts. Cygnus and Druella are delighted at the perfect match, and inform her by post that she will accept his proposal when it finally comes.

That night in her dormitory, when the lights are doused and everyone is asleep, Narcissa lies awake with her mind abuzz. A crossroads lies before her, to decide the rest of her life. Either she can be an upstanding member of pureblood society, respected, the golden debutante – forever to play a role not of her making, changing herself to fit the desires of others – or she can follow her own heart, risking everything she has ever known.

It doesn't take long for Lucius to drop to one knee before her (in front of everyone, as was expected, for a Malfoy always likes to draw attention) and offer a glittering ring. A dark face catches Narcissa's eye in the back of the crowd, but no tremor shows on her own as she offers Lucius her hand – she's far too practiced at hiding what she truly feels.

*

_1976_

He's forgotten how to breathe again. This is just like another one of their family gatherings, only it's not, it's  _not_ ; it's different, so different, and he wants to go outside and purge everything he ate at dinner not a half-hour earlier into the snow.

His relatives are arranged in seemingly random places through his uncle's study. Cygnus sits behind the desk in his leather seat, trying to make it seem like he has some authority even though everyone present is aware he is not pulling the strings here. 

Bellatrix leans against one side of the hearth, smirking, gently rubbing her fingers over a spot on her forearm. She reveals a feral grin, and Regulus shudders, looking away. Andromeda is conspicuously absent; Sirius, even more so. But their presence in his mind is unwelcome, for they left over a year ago, within a month of each other, and what they would think of this meeting is an insignificant detail.

His eyes fall upon the figure standing to the other side of their guest of honor. Lucius Malfoy watches him, lip curled slightly in a smirk, arm draped lightly around the waist of his fiance. Regulus looks at her, and their eyes lock.

This could be different, somehow, could be  _right_ , but he's Regulus Black and she's going to be Narcissa  _Malfoy_  and he's known since he can remember that he didn't have the power to decide anything. Maybe they were content to act out the middle of the fairytale, but they never expected anything to end the way it ought to.

So he finally looks at the last one in the room, who has watched him all this time with amusement in his eyes. He looks, and he breathes deep, and he remembers her lips.

Then he kneels, and wrenches up his face as he allows his story's ending to be written on his forearm in black ink.


End file.
